Only Time............................Enya

Who can say where the road goes…
Where the day flows….

Only time!

Who can say if your love goes..
As your heart chose…

Only Time!

Who can say why your heart sighs…
And love flies…

Only time!

Who can say why your heart cries..
When the love lies…

Only Time!

Who knows …?

Only Time!

BORN AGAIN......

I am sure after you guys finish reading this article you might raise your eyebrows, frown, or smile. But yes, this is the decision that I have taken. I should have taken it before. But it is never too late to submit to His will.

Yes, I don't mean this post to be a holy one, but this the story of my life since I was in 2nd year of college. Like any other student of my age I was into everything that was termed as a series of adventures then Loved calling ourselves Ulysses, seeking all the time and the search never ended. I was introduced to Him almost four years back.

I caught a glimpse of Him in my life and faced a hundreds of rejections on the other hand. I gave up, prioritizing everything else but Him. Along with it came many more hard core experiences and I fought it all. This could have been avoided. But it is always about the choices we make.

Finally the year of 2008 brought in a lot of hope and promises and self control. And Submission.

Starting with the confirmation at work in 3 months which was due in 6 months, a hike, a nice house to settle down, house advance from a school friend I was not even in touch with for 7 years, monetary needs being taken care of, getting rid of all the unwanted habits, etc, etc, etc, the list is endless.

I felt the power of prayers. I fasted for my friends and my prayers have come true. You ask for little, and He gives you so much. On top of everything you know that your life is in safe hands.

Everytime i had turned my back on Him, i only came back as a much stronger person in faith. He just waits for your call and just takes care of all your needs. He has always proved how mighty He is through the weakest. I had been brought up in a Hindu family, and i never had any personal attachments towards it. I guess i was lucky.. i would have had to regret my life if i had not known Him!

I am back to Him once again. And I want to work for the purpose he has set for me.. I guess only then I will make it big in life…

To HIM we belong....

Hola...never ending list of desires

Books, movies, soaps, all together made up my week. The regular phone calls from one's secret admirers, though not secret anymore, kept adding onto the list and one is left with nothing but a long pending sigh.

Often I am left pregnant with my never ending ideas of how to make my living even more exciting and not to miss 'W-O-R-T-H-W-H-I-L-E". The very thought of it is scary since it leaves amidst lot of confusions. And I tend to take recourse to my favorite Grey's Anatomy.

Well, this time it came up with a strange desire. A desire though not too late enough to fulfill. But I guess I have lost that tenacity, the zeal that got me my degree with little tinge of all the sitting and flying colours possible.
They say – failure is the pillar of success. A tag line I will teach my followers one day.

I figured out what are my desires that I do not at all stand a chance to fulfill.

ü Becoming a doctor
ü Becoming a space technologist
ü Physiotherapist to Michael Jackson
ü A dentist after I lost my front tooth. (the dentist I went to, out of his generosity had nicely leaned his arm against my chest, for his comfort of course. Guys, it's not funny. Attention Please!!! I was physically abused. I decided either I be a dentist and give him competition or may be take his jaws out) I still wish I could do it.
ü Wanted to be a news reader
ü Wanted to score highest in Maths. Well I never passed. Or somehow I could manage till 10th. Didn't even try in +2.
ü Wanted to look better than one of my friends, who is actually a bomb.
ü A little cleanliness freak.
ü A little less lazy in taking bath. I can't bear the cost of deo sprays and perfume any longer.
ü Wish could shave off my head once again. I enjoyed the period when I looked like a terrible version of Meg Ryan.

ü Wish I was a guy.
ü I desire Rahul Bose. Lolzzzzz……..
ü I wish…simply wish..just wish. I was a little TALLER
ü I guess a little luck would just help.. I wish for LUCK

Desires I want to work for and may be fulfilled

ü Finish a lot of books in my list
ü A complete make over by Oprah Winfrey
ü Get myself a nice place to stay and decorate it just the way I always wanted.
ü I want to be involved in social service. full time.. do things for children or the ones who need us.

ü I want to sing on stage.
ü I wish to learn guitar.
ü I wish to learn French.
ü I want to adopt a child.
ü I will own a nice music system very soon.
ü I want o travel even more….
ü I want an SLR camera and master the art of photography.
ü I want to buy lots of things for Puchki...My rival..My life..My darling…
ü A job which will pay me a little more
ü
Go for higher studies in real good institute.
ü People should change their notion about me one day and I want all of them to be proud of me.
ü Him…( I don't want this to move to the first list)

So much to do…and so little time…and I guess whatever we do till the time we walk on this face is what makes our life significant…

Epitome of a true life and if not many but at least one should say "She lived life king size."

Now at work,,so have to finish the work first.. so i draw the lines here..

dawn to dust........

The watch struck 8-15 and my phone display blinked. I never knew what was awaiting me on the other side. I rushed to my friend's house and not to my surprise, found her holding onto her mother and crying. Aunty passed away on her way back from her regular dialyses.

I re-lived the pain of forced separation from one's mother. Whole night I had fixed my eyes on her while she was laying there cold and unmoved. Quite sometimes I felt I saw her moving her eyelids and I stared back almost dozing off. For quite sometimes I felt I saw her making little movements and positioning her limbs to her comfort. I dozed off.

I am sure my friend must have wished for one miracle that could change it all. I wished the same.

One night, and came along a hundred realizations in its fold. What are we all running for? We miss out on so many things in pursuit of the so-called happiness. We might earn in six – seven figures, but yet so alone. We miss out on one chance to say it all to the one whom we don't want to lose.

It has always been too hard to ask for forgiveness. Ain't it too late to say "Mom, I am sorry"?

Well, I felt I should go back to Calcutta and be with with my ailing Dad, but I guess I am too selfish and may be still waiting for the last straw. He is running strong and full of life every time I hear him speak to me and I thank God a million times for this.

Thursday evening at the CSI cemetery. I saw my friend sitting by her mother's mausoleum casting her last glances on her. She removed the dust from her face, moved her fingertips tenderly feeling her for the last time.

Dusk rolled in……and a life returned to the dust!!