just like that.....

i have disappointed the ultimate one and what next?? He needs to tell me.. i am hating staying among the known faces...some place else.. i do not know what is this all about?? and why m i doing this to myself over and over again...

pick me up... m still kneeling....

It is not the decision.. it is the after thought!!!

Last one month had been the most terrible roller coaster ride one can imagine. At least I did not see it coming. Now that I know what's in store at least for next couple of months, I found a good enough excuse to post

i suddenly felt very secured in life and wondered if it wasn't too early? i wanted to live in uncertainty and live the way i wished for. But wasn't I independent enough already?

i decided to resign. Medical problems clubbed with few more tit bits here and there, and now its about time to leave from here. i still think why? And fail to answer why not? Travel and living and a couple of SEX AND THE CITY episodes crated this dilemma - it is the decision or the after thought?

i think the pain of separation from anything actually brings this immense desire of preserving it. But if we do not live the pain, is it worth calling it valuable? Pretty confusing and yes it's coming from a woman's brain.

Wednesday morning, while every one was rushing towards the usual designed routine, my mind wandered. I was not even remotely attracted to him, but then i can call it nice. Not really sure if I am looking forward to it again but God bless him.

Ciao...

Confession of a Hard Nut....

The entire concept of being in a relationship sounds futile when you realize…

It was only you..
It was all what you did..
You were never trusted..
You are not relied upon..
It has been just one way..
It has just been for only one..

What happens when only one has gained? The other is not.. What do you understand out of it? Does it mean that you have just been ruthless and have only taken? What if you were not aware and thought that that’s the right way? I mean are you not even considered worth of a discussion? For god’s sake, why was he with you even after all this? Yes, he had just been giving you unconditional love and companionship, and you were assigning all the conditions..

Who is to be blamed here? Yes, have you lost your mind? I believe this is the question you keep asking your self, not knowing if their is any answer to it, ever! You finally get to know, that you have been done a great favor, a favor you can never repay back. It is unconditional love. It slowly starts creeping into your blood getting you restless and clue less. Your blood starts boiling and you do not know where to take resort to?

You let it go.

He says..
"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…..Amen".