Here comes your ghost again....

The grand opening of our new church building just could not be better. Praise God for making it a success.

In between all this, a familiar feeling keeps haunting me again and again. I anticipate every time my cell phone beeps. I have lost sleep and an intense desire keeps me awake. A desire hard to fathom. My heart incessantly keeps repeating the verses …

I cry out to the Lord to take this pain away and it just don’t seem to pass. I have been looking for a light, but it refuses to shine and may be this time again it is for real. It’s not that it is hard to comprehend but I guess it’s just a shadow overhead. At times I feel I am just stuck here and there is this strange battle that I am fighting with no one around. I don’t know if it’s just me or there is some one else who is going through it, as well. I choose not to tell or proclaim, and I have been a loner.

Words seem to fail me now, and the more I am trying to hold it, the more it’s slipping away. I love the wind, the sun, and the flowers. My room is now filled with candles red and white and is this me? I sit in a corner and gaze, and a sigh is all I have. I can’t dream and can’t wish. I can’t hold and I can’t leave.
I breathe now but I don’t live.

Ring the bells....

my mind has a mind of its own.. their is not a time when it just doesnot stop myself being happy or maybe even worry..the more you try holding it the more it slips.. a series of fortunate and not so fortunate events often change the course of action..the desire is too hard to fathom.. hope turining to hopelessness..but they say their is a silver lining at the end of each dark cloud..

i find myself not letting go of something which will never work out.. a little bit of it would probably quench my thirst.. so many faces around but none you can call your own.. the longing in his eyes while waiting for his lover to come back home, the touch of the one you have missed all along and finally resting in the arms that protects you makes it all.

i have been missing something for quite sometime now and i am still looking out for the reason..i do not know what and why? waiting and long suffering just rings the bells of Christmas, for yet another new beginning...

Cheers....